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| wow... i havnt been on here in forever!!! so things have got way better. never got jonathan back and never will. i will always love him.... and i refuse to let go of my love for him... he is different from the other guys and if for some off chance he did try to come back... i want there to be a chance for him.. i dont want it to ever be too late for him. anyways... i've def been through some new guys... marty.. the loser drug dealer lol, and now i have new people... im not much of a pimpette anymore lol.. although i dont know why.. when i read back looks like i had alot of fun... dont know why i ever quit.. i think after jonathan i couldnt focus on anyone else but yea. im lookin at couple diff guys now... brent and sebastion... already had sebastion.... i like him.. but i could never really date him... but there was a connection on the other level that was good. but i like this guy brent.. i met him on memorial day by chance through a friend of a friend thing. but we havnt hung out since then... we tried to all get together but never works out. but when i think about him... i get this kinda feeling like something is meant to be here so i dont know. i guess only time will tell.  | | |
| ok so lots has happened.. including moving in and out of my own apt. The buzz about jason is down... now they have moved on to me and this GIRL named Sheldon. yes were friends.. but JUST FRIENDS.. hello she is a girl... i like boys. anyways im not even allowed to see her anymore. i got fired from my job and then hired back like 22hrs later lol. although im sick of the managers and im about to go find another job like for real. im moving back to justin in with my aunt and uncle. the whole roomate thing with lesee just isnt working out. o well tho. k gonna go | | |
| P.S. people at work are annoying because they are obsessed with this idea of me and jason... freakin even the busboy sergio is in on it.. " donde tu novio? " grrrrrr..... NO MAS!! | | |
| ok so the drama has toned down.. slightly.. lol... not so like overly emotional about whats his face anymore... i can go a day or listen to a song without crying. lol. and yea... im living at my parents casa for the moment.. but me and leslee are gettin an apt togehter.. woo hoo! its the pimpest apartment ever... get the keys on fri!! :) so things are starting to look up now... altho i still get sad sometimes. you know the on thing that is stopping from just moving on from jonathan is that he wont talk to me about what happened... like ok.. so i gave him back his bear and his shirt that i bought him from A&F.. and a card that said that im sorry for being a super bitch and left it on his porch (well lety left it on his porch lol... i was in the car like having an anxiety attack i was soooo nervous!)... and he never really said anything to me about it except for " i got your peackage" well no shit..and like he will IM me and be totally cool and be like lets hang out... which is great- but if i IM him.. he acts annoyed and wont really talk to me. PLZ just talk to me about it now that im calm... i know u dont want me anymore- and yea that breaks my heart so much... but i know it wont ever happen.. thats not what im after. grrr... and everyone wonders why i never actually commit to anyone... one i never like anyone that much.. and two.. why put myself through the heartbreak?? it never works out for me. | | |
| if i say plz... then will u give me my life back?? things are still SHITTY maybe even SHITTIER.. yep.. def SHIIITTTIIIIEEEEEEEERRR!!!!!!!!! still havnt gotten my man back.... been trying to go over his house the past couple of days just for like two sec to talk to him.... but last night he never called me back.. and then tonight he was already sleepin. i asked him to call me tomorrow.. so well see.. im not going to call him again.. ball is most def in his court this time. My horoscope to take the initiative this weekend especially on romantical issues.. and i did... i wrote him a text on thur that said im not letting him go this easy... but his phone died so he didnt get to write back.. then sat night i called him and he sounded happy to talk to me.. he explained what happened with the text and why he never said anything back... but he also never told me what he would have said if the phone hadnt been dead... then he said that he would call me back when he got home after getting some food.. which is fine.. that was what he usually did...welll he never called back..... sooo... like the typical stalker ex gf (which is the last thing i want to come off as- cuz im not!)... i called him tonight. i cant stop thinking about him.. i dont know what to do... like he was the one and i mean ONE good thing i had going for me... and now that i dont have him i feel so lost.. i know it sounds gay considering the fact that ive only been with him a couple months.. but i feel like ive known him my whole life. i just wish he would reconsider... we were good together.. but apparently he thinks different. and ive been so consumed with this and will be until it all works out somehow.. that i havnt even thought about where im going to live... and at this point i dont care. i dont care about anything anymore. | | |
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